Henry’s (and Halia’s!) World

Their story from conception to the present

The Ten Commandments of Pregnancy

Filed under: Expectant Parents — Ada at 7:10 pm on Sunday, June 21, 2009
© Copyright Ada Kanu 2019

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is “Congratulations” with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus, or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase “my baby”

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and the raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about to pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is “You look fabulous!”

6. Most of us have picked up on the fact that summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, mother-in-law or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt or genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are not invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents’ home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to “help out”. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from various locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask you to wait 3 weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Worth repeating

Filed under: General — Ada at 2:22 pm on Thursday, June 18, 2009
© Copyright Ada Kanu 2019

“Pregnancy seemed like a tremendous abdication of control.
Something growing inside you which would eventually usurp
your life.”

Baby in my pocket

Filed under: General — Ada at 10:55 am on Thursday, June 18, 2009
© Copyright Ada Kanu 2019

Rib pain and soreness

Filed under: Expectant Parents — Ada at 8:02 pm on Tuesday, June 2, 2009
© Copyright Ada Kanu 2019

If you are like me, rib pain has been a pain, mine ranges from mild to extremely sore and tender ribs on both sides depending on what I may be doing that day. I’ve only noticed this in the third trimester, and it becomes increasingly painful after sitting for long periods of time. I assume the growing uterus plays a big role by shifting the abdomen up to create space, and boy can I feel it.

More often than not, my little one seems to be content using my ribs for kicking practice so I had my husband and proud father-to-be have a serious talk with our future Beckham, to cut out the kicking till its outside, but it has not seem to make much of a difference.

While I haven’t completely forgone my fashion sense, I am opting for comfort (especially when I am at home) by wearing lose fitting clothes and using tons of pillows to support myself. I can’t wait for baby to drop into my pelvic cavity and hopefully alleviate the pain.

What I have found to give me temporary relief is as simple exercise my chiropractor shared with me; stand facing a wall about a foot away, and with crossed arms in front of your face, slide your arms against the wall above your head stretching yourself up as far as possible. Holding this position for as long as is comfortable lifts the diaphragm and rib cage off the uterus and provides temporary relief, from baby’s hard little head wedged under the ribs.